Every transition begins with an ending. We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up the new-not just outwardly, but inwardly, where we keep our connections to the people and places that act as definitions of who we are...
We usually fail to discover this need for an ending until we have made most of our necessary external changes. There we are, in the new house or on the new job or involved in the new relationship, waking up to the fact that we have not yet let go of our old ties. Or worse yet, not waking up to that fact, even though we are still moving to the inner rhythm of life back in the old situation. We're like shellfish that often continue to open and close their shells on the tide-schedule of their old home waters, even when they have been transplanted to the laboratory tank or the restaurant kitchen.
Why is this letting go so hard? This is a puzzling question, especially if we have been looking forward to a change. It is frightening to discover that some part of us is still holding on to what we used to be, for it makes us wonder if the change was in fact a bad idea...
We feel these unexpected losses because to an extent that we seldom realize, we come to identify ourselves with the circumstances of our lives. Who we think we are is partly defined by the roles and relationships that we have, both those we like and those we do not. But the bonds go deeper even than that. Our whole way of being-the personal style that makes you recognizably "you" and me "me"-is developed within and adjusted to fit a given life pattern.
Change is the ONLY constant in our universe. The nature of Carbon based units themselves is change. Our bodies change, our minds change, our lives change. With all of this change constantly taking place you would think “change� would be easy for one to endure.
Well it is easy to endure if you are the initiator of the change opposed to being subject to it. When an event dictates change, we are very likely to be unreceptive to its outcome. This is so because there is no predictability, there usually no plan for dictated changes, and the change most likely is not welcomed or accepted unless again the change was intiated by the oringator.
At this point in my time cycle, I could perceive that I am experience a loss, excuse me not a loss, only a change. I could surmise that the change is dictating my environment, but in all actuality my decisions earlier in my time cycle are now coming to fruition thus seemingly dedicating my current stati.
As stated above, the end to this particular tenure is actually the begging of a new one. Let the games begin!!
Very interesting that you propose the question, "Why is this letting go so hard?� "Letting go" refers to may things/actions. Letting go of the one's (unrealistic) expectations---letting go of the hurt that others have caused--letting go of the chains/barriers that one creates for him/herself. The ultimate goal (in my opinion) is acceptance in the "now". This concept doesn't mean a person is without direction or cause. Winning the war does not mean willing all battles. Too often success is attributed solely to tangible and material gains. Success can never be failure, right? Wrong. Failure is the riskiest form of success that exist. To fail means to have expended blood, sweat, and energy. How many people are in essence "nothing" simply due to maintaining the status of "unrealized potential" via lack of action? I'd much rather be remembered as a failure. Someone who lacked fear, or at least faced and confronted her fears, in any given task. The unwillingness to "let go" is slated in the unwillingness to take risks ---the unwillingness to confront one's fears. It's not an easy task. But then again, life's not easy or fair, right? So you must determine the worth. How desperate do you want it? Are you willing to takes the necessary risks that require you to confront your fears? What is it WORTH to you???
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