2.01.2009

The right way to love?

There are so many different interpretations of what love is that one might wonder if there is a right way to love? Actually, there is no correct way to love because love means so many different things to different people. What may be an act of love for one couple may not even come close to what love is to another couple.

Love is unique to every individual and every couple. The things that a couple does for each other in a relationship to express love, is very personal to them. Of course there are some general, common beliefs about what love is but when it comes to the details on how to love, this is unique to each individual and each couple for that matter.

For instance, a couple might do random acts of kindness for each other to express their love for one another. In another relationship, acts of kindness here and there may not be enough. Often, couples have expectations of each other, which need to be satisfied by their partner for love to exist between them in the fullest sense. When couples are in a relationship and one partner doesn’t meet the needs of the other, there may be tension between them. Love is such a delicate balance of give and take it seems. What is expected of a loving relationship various among people.

It is amazing actually, when no two people are the same, that love can exist as it does. It must be that people are attracted to their opposites in many situations. Not to say that couples don’t share similarities, but they certainly are not the same. When people are not the same, they think, feel and behave differently about different things. It is a rather large accomplishment actually to find love in relationships full of differences. The key is the appreciation of differences rather than the criticism of them.

Issues arise when people in relationships go into the relationship expecting their partner to think, feel and behave as they do or as a past partner did. This sort of unrealistic expectation is the perfect way to unhappiness in a relationship. This goes back to appreciation of each other’s differences and individuality. Some of the happiest couples are those who respect each other’s differences. Not to say that people in relationships should be pardoning and respecting their partner for differences in thoughts, feelings or behaviors which are destructive to the relationship.

There is a need to mutually use discretion in drawing the line as to what differences are workable in the relationship and which ones are going to cause it to fail. Trust your instincts on this one and you should be fine.

In conclusion, if a person is seeking the right way to love in their relationship, they just need to trust their heart and mind on this one. Go with what your heart tells you and with what you know about the likes and dislikes of your partner. Be emotionally and mentally in tune with the one you love and you should have no problem finding the right way to love in your relationship.

4 comments:

  1. There is no such thing as love without respect and no such thing as respect without love. this is the universal balance of life. Dimitri you are exactly right because there are diffrent measurments of love for diffrent couples. Balancing love AND respect is what measures it out for all of us appropriatley.
    this is how its always been.
    8p

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  2. I agree with you about the respect thing...let me ask you, if one does something "disrespectful" does that lessen the love dynamic in any regard?

    Or rather does it mean the offender loves the other less?

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  3. the love dynamic can be lessened or greatened depending on how the two feel about each other. in most cases when you disrespect the person you love it means that there is a lack of respect in that area pertaining. it does not mean you love them less because with the disrespect factor being present there was no love in that area to begin with. real love is knowlege and understanding of something to know how to tend to it. a lack of knowlege or understanding is the only way to disrespect something or someone. to greaten the love dynamic one has to make a concious effort to let the other know that they mean that much to them to take the time to learn what it is that they dont know.one has to put themselves in the other persons shoes to understand that and I know from experience that it takes a good deal of empathy and very good intrapersonal communicational skills to accomplish. this is where the proof of real love comes into play. it takes balance to accomplish anything. But before anything does the COUPLE in particular know what the word love actually means or are they like the majority of couples with diffrent ideas between the two?
    8p

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  4. So many times, I think individuals (and couples) forget that they can only control themselves. Erroneously, they have a tendancy to want to set parameters within the definition of love. People feel, that when in a relationship, they should be able to set boundaries on a relation -- because you love me, you should....because I love you, you should...men have a tendancy to think through relationships in a simplistic course, because these are my needs path....and a lot of women have a tendancy to view love in terms of black and white. Lines are blurred, but paths clear when you think of your limitations and needs. Individuals forget to look beyond immediate needs to longer term goals /aspirations, needs,wants. Lines are blurred, and issues complicated because the 'wrong head',many times, guides thinking.

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So, what do you think?