To me its not ironic that 93% of all communication take places via kinesics (body language), but yet we present a difference between whats said and acted out. The english language is made up of roughly 988,968 words but we only frequently speak just under 2,000 of them but yet we can't seem to convey a complete thought.
Basically, with the level of cognition, the availability of higher level thinking and the bonus: an opposable thumb, we suck at communicating with another. Some how we have gotten lazy and think we are too busy to even say we are too busy. In doing so, we are being selfish and not thinking ion iota about who else time affects.
We need to learn to be more proficient in communicating to each other oh AND keeping our word!!!
Its all quite sad...
If this isn't the truth! (Body language happens to be one of my stronger abilities;-)
ReplyDeleteBut what if then, someone's body language shows you not to waste your breath? I know this isn't what your talking about, but sometimes I want to say something; convey a thought. But by observing anothers' behavior or body language, it almost seems futile. Is it better to leave some things unspoken?
Body language is a very powerful tool. We had body language before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what you understand in a conversation is read through the body, not the words.
ReplyDeleteACTIONS...they speak volumes!
Got ears? Use them much? Listen...you were told!
Don't waste your breath!!!
Absolutely...leave the unspoken where it belongs, hence 'un'spoken!
Because 'your' body language was probably already heard as well!
I am sure you have heard this one...
"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."
— Maya Angelou
I have most certainly heard that saying before, and try my best to live by her words. Although I will admit, sometimes it's difficult because of the impressiveness of choice words... Selective hearing kicks in and all of a sudden you're blind!
ReplyDeleteIf I may....Maya Angelou is an incredible woman, gifted artist, author, poet, activist and role model!! Her gifts, wisdom and experiences just bring a smile -- she is on the list of those people who have walked this earth that I would love to spend an evening with over dinner!! Can you imagine what could be learned!!...@ AD...thank you for that tribute!
ReplyDeleteTo D's post:
Body language is a powerful and often unintentional 'tool'. It gives us away, delivers our message and guides the behaviors of others so many times before we even open our mouths. We need to be mindful of its power. With that said, there is a flip side to this coin. It is sad those who profess to be a person of integrity and a person of their word...to me the two are synonymous...but do not walk their talk, rather giving people what they want to hear, using body language to stage outcomes and guide behaviors to their advantage. There are cues that, if watched for and aware, may be there...but so many times that element of selective hearing and what we need to hear clouds rational thought.
I think discernment is key. It's unfortunate that people are able to manipulate in that way, but most of us learn from experience. While I don't think it's healthy to live life on the defensive, paying attention to cues of unnatural body language is most certainly helpful, and being able to "read people" is crucial in order to protect yourself from harm or undesired results. But back to Dimitri's original point, communication simply sucks in our day. Because people aren't able to effectively convey their thoughts, their words become skewed, as well as their body language. When you are out of practice, your delivery tends to suck. So I would even say the body language factor is included. But there are some performers out there! Fortunately for me, I am reader of people (even when I allow predictable behavior). But what about those who barely step from behind text, facebook, and IM? Would they even know how to respond to someone "showing" them on false pretenses?
ReplyDeleteI agree wholeheartedly that what people show you and what they tell you should go hand in hand. And if it doesn't, well then you shouldn't be surprised if they stand you up, leave you hanging, go back on their word, or play you to the left. But that's the selective part. I'm just concerned for those that have lost the ability to distinguish, or may never learn.